Verbal Harassment or Compliments

Melissa Lopez

Blog Post #3

November 2, 2016

https://youtu.be/b1XGPvbWn0A

 Verbal Harassment or Compliments?

    Have you ever walked down the street, food market or even experienced walking down our campus and recall being cat called? As I read “Staring” by Rosemarie Garland-Thomson, I was brought back to this video I saw a while back that captures a woman walking in New York City streets and for ten long hours experienced cat-calling by over 20 men. This woman captures men asking her for her number, telling her how beautiful she is, and above all, has men walking besides her while she kept walking without acknowledging them. My blog today has more questions than answers and even deep thoughts that will have everyone else questioning whether her video demonstrates either verbal harassment or compliments from these men. Or at least, I was left with these thoughts in mind. I compare key concepts that Thomson mentions in her article while also analyzing the video to have a better understanding the double standards in which women have to live with as they are being cat-called.  

   Cat-call, according to Oxford Dictionaries; make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by. Cat-calling is common among men, typically women do not engaged in cat-calling. I wanted to explore more about this subject since Thomson talks about how staring at another individual in degrading and a negative action, however, the example I provide shows the opposite and demonstrates men cat-calling a woman as she walks by.

   Thomson writes about the difference between men and women looking at other individuals, particularly at individuals of the same sex. In her article Thomson considers some of the main reasons why gentleman do not stare. (Keep in mind that some of her statements were from etiquette from earlier centuries). “Gentlemen do not stare” (67), “A young man who respects his own mother will never stare at any women, with his mouth open, like a gawk rooted to the ground” (69). “Leering at women is strictly proscribes for gentlemen for two reasons. First, staring at women who belong to other men threatens the stable economy in which men have legal and economic ownership of women; second, staring reveals a sexual hunger that puts a man in the vulnerable position of seeming, even being, enthralled by women” (69). All these quotes were from the reading, and while trying to understand these concepts I was struck because these statements are something that I would consider not being the norms anymore. Gentlemen do stare, and gentlemen do reveal ‘sexual hunger’ (69) for women especially by cat-calling.

   The following section briefly summarizes some of the names, questions and statements that men said to the woman who was walking through the streets of Manhattan. As I watched the video, I wasn’t sure what to make of all the statements that the men said. Yes, there are comments and actions that are scary and can intimidate anyone, especially as a woman who is walking alone in the streets. As well, there are statements that were said to this young woman that were kind, as the matter of fact, some men were offended because this woman did not answer or react to their comments.

Ten hours of silent walking through all areas of Manhattan wearing jeans and a crewneck t-shirt

“How are you doing today?”

“Smile, I guess not good, Smile!”

“What’s up beautiful, have a nice day”
“Beautiful, have a nice day- somebody’s acknowledging you for being beautiful-you should say thank you more!”

“God bless you Mami”

“Damn!”

“Hey sexy”

“Have a nice evening”

“I just a thousand dollars there!”

“You don’t want to talk? - Because I am ugly? - We can’t be friends or something? – You don’t speak – If I give you my number, would you talk to me? – Too ugly for you?”

100+ instances of verbal street harassment took place within 10 hours, involving people of all backgrounds. This doesn’t include the countless winks, whistles, etc.

If you want to help, please donate to Hollaback! A non-profit dedicated to ending street harassment

Thomson states that offering to stare back “shamefully exposes a starer’s intractable curiosity” (72). The men in the video were very curios to look at the woman as she walked passed by them. Keep in mind this woman was wearing causal clothing and nothing revealing. So why have times changed? And why is curiosity powerful than being challenged to keep your comments to yourself in terms of cat-calling?

   I am torn with the statements that Thomson vs. analyzing what is happening in the video. Cultural differences have always existed, but have never scaled to a level of cat-calling.  Cultural expectations have changed, and gentlemen have forgotten to be gentlemen?According to Thomson gentlemen should not make eye contact with a female. Now that we live a world in which cat-calling is common, how is Thomson concepts of gentlemen making eye contact with females who are not their wives challenge her ideas with twentieth-century culture?  The comments made in the video were either negative or positive, and my challenge is trying to understand it through Thomson point of view, and what she would say if she watched this video. This video offers a new understanding on how women mind their own business and continue to be cat-called or stalked as they walk around. I would appreciate other comments on this, because I am torn between identifying these statements as verbal harassment's or compliments.