Staring Back

Staring Back

I often say the personal is political, the idea that peoples stories and experiences help to show the systems of power in place. While I encourage others to share, I tend to stray away from this idea personally and instead I stick to the more academic idea of regurgitating others stories and experiences to extrapolate knowledge. But in this very rare occasion, I will take a moment to add voice to a topic.

In “Staring: How We Look” by Rosemarie Garland-Thomson she discusses the implications of staring at people who are disabled on both the starer and the staree. There is a power dynamic in staring, those with the power are those who are staring. But she states that starees can disrupt this power, by staring back (Garland-Thomson, 2009, p.84). In stating this though she creates a burden that rests on the person with the disability to have to engage the starer in order to change the power dynamic.

This idea of staring back is something I am familiar with. As a child I had cancer, I was bald, I was incredibly chubby from the chemotherapy, and I would often projectile vomit, collapse, or have to be carried.

I often found people staring at my bald head. Once my hair started to grow back I still continued to have people stare and question why a little girl had such short hair.

In reading Garland-Thomson I read the word disabled to include myself, someone who had cancer. The word disabled used to only apply to some people but it has now been able to be inclusive of more people, including myself. Some people do not see cancer as a disability, but the word “disabled” has expanded to encompass more people within the last 10 years. In 2008, the American with Disabilities Act was amended to include disabilities in the body and mind, “the functions of the immune system, cell growth, digestive, bowel, bladder, brain and nervous system, respiratory, circulatory, endocrine, and reproductive systems” (American Cancer Society, 2016). You can see here how ADA expanded to support and encompass those with cancer and other disabilities. These changes help many people with cancer to clearly meet the definition of disability and receive rights and services that they were once denied.  While I now look “normal” I once did not pass as someone without a disability. I have now assimilated and have no residual physical appearance that makes me look disabled (although I still do have invisible disabilities). This article Yes, That Cancer Patient Over There Knows That You’re Staring at Them captures some of the feelings I felt while being stared at.

Staring is “a mannerism that marked improper behavior by middle and upper class women and men” (Garland-Thomson, 2009, p.70). This still holds true today, the ideas of staring at others who are different is frowned upon. To stare is to actively acknowledge someone as so different that you must take another look and clarify that what you saw as true. And even if you avert your gaze, it still robs someone of their personhood because you do not want to acknowledge them (Garland-Thomson, 2009, p.83). As a child I found this happening to myself, a lot. People in grocery stores, at school, or really anywhere I went always had to take a second glance to understand why a girl was bald, why I was being carried, or why my bodily fluids were now all over the floor. People would tell me in the grocery store that they were praying for me and once a stranger gave me $5 to spend on myself. While these were not negative experiences they were odd and made me acknowledge that my body was different. It meant that every day I had to put on a brave face and stare back even on the days when I just wanted to check out at target. To constantly break the power dynamic a staree has to always engage. 

Garland-Thomson states that this power dynamic of starers casting pity or gawking can be disrupted. Garland-Thomson says “rather than passively wilting under intrusive and discomforting stares, a staree can take charge of a starting situation, using charm, friendliness, humor, formability, or perspicacity to reduce interpersonal tension and enact a positive self-representation” (Garland-Thomson, 2009, p.84). This puts the burden of changing the power dynamic on the staree which is problematic. It means that instead of the starer changing their behavior in how they view others through education it is the job of the staree. This puts incredible pressure on the staree and as Garland-Thomson states “some take this up with relish and other with dread”.

As a child I took this up with dread. Why couldn’t people just see me as me? Why did I have to educate them that cancer was not contagious or that I was bald because I had chemotherapy? Why was it my job to tell people that regardless of how my body looks that I am happy? Why was the burden on me to make people feel okay about how I looked?

I do not think that it should be the job of the staree to break the power dynamic that occurs in staring. I should not have to go around acting one way to project a certain image, that I am of "worth and dignity" (Garland-Thomson, 2009, p.86). Instead I should be granted this, always. While it does disrupt the power structure for the staree to stare back and acknowledge that they are not to be pitied, it puts the burden on the staree. Society must change how they view able-bodied and disabled bodies. I believe this comes down to education. Schools should incorporate disabilities into their health curriculum with how to treat and understand people with disabilities. This could provide an outlet for people to understand how to treat and engage those who are "different" in a positive way. Disabled bodies should not be avoided or stared at, they should simply be welcome and regarded as normal people.

Citations:

American Cancer Society. 2016. Americans With Disabilities Act: Information for People Facing Cancer. Retrieved from: http://www.cancer.org/treatment/findingandpayingfortreatment/understandingfinancialandlegalmatters/americans-with-disabilities-act 

Rosemarie Garland-Thomson. (2009). Staring: How We Look. NY, New York: Oxford University Press.