Don't Stare - Just See

Don't Stare - Just See

by Beau R.

A social rule in American culture that most of us are aware of is that staring is rude, especially when the one receiving the stares is not aesthetically normal or has a physical (dis)ability. People in cities, mainly the homeless, were policed for their unsightly appearance under legislature called ugly laws. These laws no longer exist in our culture but are echoed through the actions of various authorities who urge the homeless or abnormally looking people to ‘move along’ so that they don’t disturb normal citizens in public settings. More silent forms of policing occur with those who have intellectual or developmental disabilities (IDD) because physical traits do not always reveal them.

Creep. Pervert. Retard. This is the kind of language my friends in elementary school would use to describe encounters with my older cousin living with autism, who was a young adult at the time. Parents of the community considered his behaviors inappropriate simply because he attempted to befriend kids my age, creating the illusion that his (dis)ability made him a threat to others. Though, he merely wanted make new friends and felt hurt once my aunt forbade him to interact with young people in public. I knew my cousin was a kind-hearted person, but I didn’t stand up to my friends at the time who mocked and entertained his (dis)ability. The Global Down Syndrome Foundation articulates that some terms previously used to properly describe differently-abled individuals are now politically incorrect and particularly belittling to people who have IDDs (http://www.globaldownsyndrome.org/about-down-syndrome/words-can-hurt/).

Words can and do hurt. It wasn’t until high school that I learned how toxic words could be such as retard, or in my case faggot. That word in particular shot me down amidst my frustration and confusion surrounding my sexuality, and I can only imagine what my cousin feels when he hears words so demeaning toward his (dis)ability. I was still in the closet and wondered how in the world people could tell; was it the way I talked or walked? My cousin may have thought the same thing, that something he did was abnormal and people could tell he was different. This shows how those around us are watching and analyzing our behaviors, deciding whether we are normal or not and policing us with their words and actions. Invisible identities such as sexual orientation and intellectual disability are internal, so people make assumptions off of behavioral cues and either avert their staring or mock the individual – both of which display societal intolerance of diversity.

Toxic language that is used to mock and belittle a group of people reaches further than simply hurting the individual’s feelings it is used against. It oppresses people on a personal level as well as limits their perceived ability in social settings. Individuals who live with IDDs unsurprisingly want to contribute to their community and enter the workforce in some fashion, like my cousin who enjoys volunteering and his job as a cleaner in a hotel. Unfortunately, employers typically place people with IDDs in positions that require little to no interaction with customers. I worked in supportive employment alongside individuals with IDDs who needed assistance adjusting to their job, and managers would usually explain to me that they needed to be out of sight from customers because (1) it would make the customer feel uncomfortable and/or (2) assuming customers are ignorant, they may direct offensive slurs at the employee. Language thus has the power to literally hide people who are considered abnormal, with insufficient reasoning based on customer satisfaction and employee protection.

Progress will never be made if society continues to hide and silently pity people with IDDs. We mustn’t stare but instead look – look at the individual and see that it is our system that leaves them (dis)abled, not the condition in which they were born. Some people choose to fight the system and resist the norms that have been outlined for them. Madeline Stuart defies stereotypes about Down syndrome by spending her time modeling and showed the audience at New York Fashion Week that she is much more than her perceived (dis)ability (https://www.facebook.com/NowThisNews/videos/909732239116901/).

Another individual who shattered stereotypes about the ability of people with IDDs followed her dreams to become the first certified elementary school teacher with Down syndrome in Latin America. Noelia Garella had to fight to prove her abilities in the classroom, and her boss thinks that she’s a natural (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3880832/Down-syndrome-teacher-Argentina-Latin-America.html).

Though individuals with IDDs are fighting tooth and nail to be seen for their abilities, it is the people without perceived (dis)abilities who must change in order to make the system work for them. Bosses and employers should not tolerate and hide their workers with (dis)abilities; rather, they should flaunt their uniqueness and the diversity they bring to the workforce by putting them center stage. The true disability in life is the set of social rules that work to oppress and otherize those who are differently abled, not the diagnosis we perceive as an obstacle to normality.